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Suddenly, Sturgeon is a Unionist

Updated: Jul 17, 2021

It's hilarious to watch, it really is.

For days, weeks, months and years, we have had to listen to Nicola Sturgeon berating Boris Johnson. The man is the spawn of the devil in her eyes. Can't do a thing right. Not smart and professional like her. Not caring and empathetic like her. But thankfully, according to her, Scotland can count itself lucky it has Nicola Sturgeon and her female cronies to keep Scotland safe from the cack-handedness of the UK Parliament.

Scotland needn't worry. Health is devolved to the Scottish Government, and Nicky will govern to keep Scotland safe.

And yet obscurely enough, with the coronavirus victims rising exponentially, we have Sturgeon calling upon Boris Johnson to call a COBRA meeting so that the four nations of Scotland, England, Wales and N.Ireland can come up with solutions and decisions about lockdown restrictions which can be harmonious across the UK.

What? Did you hear that correctly?

Sturgeon apparently no longer cares to make her own decisions on governing the health of Scotland for herself.

Suddenly she cares about the UK operating harmoniously as a whole.

Eh? Hang on. That's not the script for someone who wants independence from the rest of the UK and who already has the power to govern the health of its nation devolved to it.

What's wrong Nicky, have you suddenly had a change of heart and decided that the health of the Scottish nation is better governed as part of a unified UK? Or maybe you don't want health matters to be devolved to the Scottish government anymore?

I'll tell you want's going on.

You haven't a bloody clue what to do.

Up until about 3 weeks ago, it was all going according to plan. The number of infections was going down and you stood on your pulpit telling Scotland how lucky it was that it had a leader like yourself in control of the situation, saving us all from the dreaded plague. "Ain't I wonderful? And now will you please reward me with a vote for independence".

Except everything has changed. Hate to tell you Nicky, but the virus was never listening to you. The chances are it was the summer weather that was keeping it at bay, and you and your silly deluded restrictions had nothing to do with it.

So now the virus is coming back, and you don't know what to do.

All of a sudden, you need Boris's help. "Help Boris, please, I'm stuck".

"Let's have a meeting Boris so you can tell me what to do, 'cos I don't know. And if can give me some ideas, then I can use them. And if they work, I'll take the praise, and if they don't, I'll blame you, like I always do".

I really hope Boris has a sudden bout of deafness, and leaves you floundering in your cluelessness, Mrs. Murrell.


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