Professor Jordan Peterson wrote the highly successful "12 Rules for Life". Here are Aberdonian.com's 12 Rules for Life:
1. Go see the Christmas Panto at His Majesty's Theatre every year.
2. Go see the Flying Pigs at His Majesty's Theatre every year.
3. Write a letter to Aberdeen Journals whenever something annoys you. They will print it. Give your neighbour's name and address.
4. Tell the beggars on Union Street to get a job.
5. Tell the beggars you don't wish to accept their blessing, and then ask them "Do I know you?"
6. Keep walking straight ahead if someone is walking towards you with their head buried in their mobile phone.
7. Accidentally drop your bag of tacks every time someone cycles on the pavement towards you.
8. If a car is parked on the pavement blocking your way, leave a note on the windscreen stating that you were unable to get your disability scooter past them, went on to the road, got run down by a car, and would they now like to visit you in hospital?
9. Do not believe anything you see or hear on the BBC. The BBC is an enemy of the country.
10. Tell everyone that phones you to say you have been in an accident that you have placed a curse on them that they will die within a week.
11. Tell anyone that takes a mobile phone out to record an event such as a concert or sporting event that they are a sad, mindless moron.
12. Stand on Union Bridge and sing "Always look on the bright side of life". Preferably not alone.